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Joke of the Day

"What's the best part of a pregnancy joke? The delivery."

"SNL contacted me about being a writer, and I was like ""Pfft. I got my own gig"" and they were like ""BEEP BEEP BEEP"" because my alarm went off"

"*handsome, young man walks up* HYM-Ms. Me-Hold it Jr. Yes, I'm sexy. But young guys aren't my thing. HYM-You've toilet paper on your heel."

"How many dank memes does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, just use the jet fuel instead."

"Why does internet explorer ask so many questions? Because it's insecure. It has trust issues."

"I used to steal funny jokes I still do, but I used to, too."

"Humans are constantly amazing me; like how vegan is a thing but hibernation isn't? Wtf."

"where does saddam hussein keep his c.d collection? In Iraq (a rack)"

"If you walk up to me with a plate of food and say ""Matt?"" My name will always be Matt."

"Do you want to hear a joke about sodium? Na"