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Joke of the Day

"What did one diabetic say to the other diabetic, on their blind date? I'm sorry, but you're just not my type."

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"I hate it when a bar of soap gets visibly dirty. I want to clean it, but down that road lies madness."
"You must hate it when people make assumptions about you."
"Now then - what's an oxymoron?"
"I'm training my cats to use the bathroom like people. It really works! [cut to bathroom: two cats do cocaine off the toilet tank]"
"Some days I think Forrest had the right idea when he dropped everything and just kept running."
"A hiring manager had a stack of resumes, took half, and threw them in the trash... Coworker asks, ""what are you doing!?!"" HR Manager said, ""I don't like to hire unlucky people."""
"What do you call an eagle that is sick? Illegal"
"Henry Miller said, ""The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature."" That explains ""Kim is a kunt"" on this restroom wall."
"Whats black,white,black,white,black,white,red? A nun falling down the stairs on her period."
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