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Joke of the Day

"My neighbours just submitted a petition that I stop setting traps for stray pigs after I caught my 16th police man today."

"What do you call a cookie without legs? A cookie"

"Which U.S Presidents are not buried inside the United States? Carter, the Bushes, Clinton, and Barry-O"

"Set my phone to change K to Okay!! so I don't look rude. Now it looks like I'm all excited about stupid shit, and I'm Okay!! with that."

"Still haven't forgiven my parents for not being rich."

"My 3 year old just got me with this one... 3 yo: Can I please have a mystery? Me: What is that? 3 yo: I don't know, it's a mystery (laughs hysterically)"

"If a woman gave in very fast it's not because of the man but the men that came before him."

"Teacher: Where is the English Channel ? Pupil: I don't know my TV doesn't pick it up"

"What did the doctor say to the man who couldn't pee? Urine trouble!"

"Why was the germiphobe scared of coins? Because he was afraid of change."