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Joke of the Day

"""I...I don't know, doc. I guess I'm just tired of being pushed around all the time."" -Revolving Doors"

"I'd rather vote for Monica Lewinsky than Hillary Clinton... ...because at least a little bit of Bill rubbed off on Monica!"

"Grandson is having sex with his grandma The father walks in and says, Son! Your fucking with my mother! The grandson replys: so! You fuck mine all the time and i dont tell you shit!"

"You don't really know someone until you get drunk with them."

"I've been trying to hide my erectile dysfunction from my girlfriend... But I just don't think I can keep it up for much longer."

"She said she needed her space and time.. Why didn't she ask for her velocity then?!"

"One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit. What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?"

"Was asked to make the potato salad. I made it while sitting on the couch. Yep, made Couch Potato Salad."

"What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? The first is a super hero, the second is a simple command."

"According to the ""you snooze you lose"" principle insomnia makes us winners."