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Joke of the Day

"""I...I don't know, doc. I guess I'm just tired of being pushed around all the time."" -Revolving Doors"

"I AM NOT REALLY YELLING AT YOU I JUST GOT USED TO TALKING TO MY TEENAGER WHO ALWAYS HAS HEADPHONES IN"

"My coworker is pregnant and they passed a card around and I didn't know what to write so I just put HAVE A GOOD BABY TANYA"

"Because of Politcal Correctness you can no longer say ""Black paint"". You have to say ""Jamal, will you please paint the fence?"""

"Can you tell me a joke existential in nature?"

"Giving somebody a greeting card is the most festive way to deposit $5 into their trashcan."

"Wasn't wearing my glasses at the park and bent down to pet some guy's gym bag. How's your night going?!"

"Jimmy how many more times must I tell you to come away from that cookie tin? No more mom. It's empty."

"I was addicted to freezing poultry. I had to go cold turkey."

"All I'm saying is if you don't want me to walk into the women's restroom put words not pictures on the doors..."