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Joke of the Day

"Why is the story of Jesus the longest porn in history? Because 2000 years after he rose again, everyone is still waiting for the second coming."

"I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass."

"Great, yet another drive-in movie ruined by the neighbors saying I can't park on their lawn and watch movies through the living room window."

"What do they call traffic laws in 3rd world countries? Guidelines"

"How much do dead batteries cost? Nothing. They are free of charge!"

"MOM: Story time ME: Yay! MOM: it's called ""The Little Engine that Could, but doesn't cuz he's a little shit that won't move out"" ME: mom?"

"Very Funny Comedy @ My Church Night Vigil"

"Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street...... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close."

"The real reason Batman only comes out at night is because he'd get disastrous tanlines wearing that mask during the day."

"A guy walks into a bar and orders an Ovechkin... (Hockey joke) The bartender looks confused and asks ""What the hell is an Ovechkin?"" The guy says ""It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"""