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Joke of the Day

"I want to go to the afterlife to ask Robin Williams, ""How's it hanging?"" I'm not sorry."

"What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves!! just kidding....I don't know what he got....he hasn't opened it yet"

"Facebook account for sale, friends included."

"What do you call a robber who looks like David Beckham? Bandit like Beckham"

"Fun Fact: 100% of people don't know what to do with a dirty dish at someone else's house."

"[puts dog in car] Me to wife: just gonna take her to the vet Wife: why u whispering [car screeches away] Me with wife in headlock: thats why"

"A zombie jumped out at me, in a haunted house, but he didn't scare me. He did, however, catch my elbow in his face."

"Why was the Spanish train the primary suspect? It had locomotive. (I'm not sorry)"

"I just purchased Big Foot repellant. Er, sorry, a camera."

"A blonde and a brunette are discussing the previous night out... The brunette says, ""Last night I slept with a Brazilian."" ""Oh my god!"" the blonde replies. ""How many is THAT?"""