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Joke of the Day

"Still complaining about the guy with a million followers taking credit for your tweets? Never had a boss have you?"

Next Joke
 
"I told myself that I wouldn't drink today, but nobody ever listens to me."
"Nice try ""Marco Rubio"" or should I say... [rearranges letters] ""BIRAC UBOMA"" [audience gasps]"
"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Mutant Barbie ...Professor Xavier's daughter: bald as a billiard ball wearing a Dark Phoenix costume"
"Tragic News: Plane carrying Donald Trump underwent massive turbulence, lost engine power, stalled, but landed safely."
"A guy at the bar asked me to pass him the salt and pepper, so I punched him in the face and yelled, GET YOUR OWN DISTINGUISHED HAIR JERK!"
"My son has stolen my iPad to play minecraft. Please retweet this so the notifications disrupt his playing."
"What is the worst part about locking your keys inside your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go inside and asking for a coat hanger."
"What was the dentist doing in Panama?...Looking for the Root Canal"
"What did the Pink Panther say after he sprayed raid on an anthill? *Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.*"
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