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Joke of the Day

"When the inventor of the USB stick dies they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again."

"Don't mind me The real joke is always in the comments. I'm just waiting for it."

"Dates are like golf strokes The fewer it takes for you to score, the better your game."

"You just know I knew my girlfriend was furious when I blew my load early last night....I could see it in her eyes"

"So a man buying stolen goods gets caught, and is given one phone call, who does he call? His de-fence attorney!"

"The French Navy Q: Why does the new French navy have glass-bottomed boats? A: So they can see the old French navy."

"I met Jay-Z in '09 and he said ""Meet my fiance, Beyonce"" and I was like ""That rhymes, you should rap!"" and we laughed and he sold me crack."

"I have invented a revolutionary drug that can cure third-world hunger... Just take one little pill with a meal 3x per day."

"If wandering off was an Olympic sport, my mind would be a gold medalist."

"I fell off a 50 foot ladder yesterday. Luckily I was on the bottom step."