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Joke of the Day

"Who's your favorite comedian? Friend: who's your favorite comedian Me:Donald Trump Friend:why? Me:Everybody knows Donald trump is a joke"

"My friend handed out wedding invitations at her baby shower, like the classless knocked up slut she is."

"Do you want to here a joke about TCP Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it?"

"What did the ghost say to the bee? Boo bee!"

"Guy gets into a car wreck with a midget driver Midget steps out of his car, walks over to the other guy with a scowl and states, ""I'm not happy."" Guy responds. ""So which one are you?"""

"Donald Trump used to enjoy having first wife Ivana.... sit on his knees so he could raise and lower her. Guess not the first time he bounced a Czech."

"Remember that time when we got trapped on a ski-lift for 4 days, then the acid wore off and we were just sitting on my grandmas porch-swing."

"Punctuation is really important: it's the difference between helping your uncle jack off a horse, and helping your uncle, Jack, off a horse."

"You have no idea how happy I get when phone rings and it's you. the microwave beeps and the food is ready."

"Now that Platini has been banned from football... Who's going to make all the sticker albums?"