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Joke of the Day

"When do ghosts have to stop scaring people? When they lose their haunting licenses."

"Why was Stalin literally worse than Hitler? Because Hitler at least wrote his own books"

"""So how was your date?"" I talked about my obsession with reducing fractions too much ""That wasn't a good idea"" Yeah well, hindsight is 1"

"My first time doing standup was a lot like my first time having sex. I finished way too early and when it was over I couldn't stop apologizing."

"Dear Netflix; when I got my first dvd by mail all those years ago I never dreamed that one day you would raise a child for me."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Crock and Dial ! Crock and Dial who ? Crock and Dial Dundee !"

"Kmart always smells like if Walmart was found dead in its apartment after three days."

"Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open."

"when a goth has an identity crisis do they bleach all their clothes"

"Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long? Because old Hobbits die hard..."