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Joke of the Day

"Would you like some headphones? The air hostess said to me, 'Of course I would! Oh and how did you know my name was Phones?'"

Next Joke
 
"Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison? The headline read ""Small medium at large."""
"Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport? Because he was Snowden..."
"Optimist vs Pessimist Optimist - The glass is half full Pessimist - The glass is half empty Feminist - The glass is being raped"
"What's brown and sticky?... a stick. What's brown and runny?... Usain Bolt"
"Dad cooks deer for dinner and doesn't tell the kids what it is... He gives them a hint ""It's what your mom calls me"" The kids respond ""It's a fucking dick, don't eat it"""
"Lightbulbs in Magaluf What type of lightbulbs go clubbing in Magaluf*? LEDs (*Note for any US viewers Magaluf is a popular destination in Spain for Brits that go on massive drinking/clubbing holidays)"
"When abroad, James Bond is known as +44 07."
"Why did the man eat all of the bananas? Because they were appealing."
"""That'll be $147,382."" - The cab driver after taking Will Smith from Philadelphia to Bel Air."