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Joke of the Day

"Satyrs are awesome. The top half of a man. The bottom half of a goat. It's a dream come true for Gay Muslims."

"What do you call and eight sided dildo? A cocktopus."

"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm invisible Who said that?"

"A Guy Doing Push Ups 'One.. Two.. Three..' *A Girl Passes by..* Guy: ""82.. 83.. 84.."""

"No I didn't want a receipt but now that you've asked me I'm suspicious, so yes, I will have that receipt now please."

"Hey why isn't Phil Hughes playing in the test today? Oh didn't you hear, he was the first Australian to be killed by ebola!"

"Saw a cute girl at work today. I told her I get off in five minutes and she smiled. Then I said I finish work in one hour and she left."

"Ordering beef: ""Was this killed humanely? Did it suffer?"" Ordering lobster: ""I'd like to rip this to pieces in front of its entire family."""

"Black Friday sales keep getting earlier and earlier Ferguson got a huge jump on things this year."

"This just in! You read this"