145641

Joke of the Day

"I just embarrassingly ripped my pants open while bowling. Getting a split means something entirely different to me now."

"Barbie's head is in the refrigerator. Ken swears a ""giant child"" did it. The police shrug and slap handcuffs on Ken and lead him away."

"Why did r/TwoXChromosomes flood? The dyke broke."

"What has eight arms and tells the time? A clocktopus Shoutout to the popper from my Xmas dinner"

"What does ISIS and a great joke have in common? A great execution."

"My girlfriend was taking a survey online about ""Which holiday describes your sex life?"" She wasn't happy with me when I chimed in, ""Day of the Dead."""

"The planet would be a better place if people would just be who they truly are. Human civilization would collapse within a week..."

"As a child I had a medical condition that meant I had to eat soil 3 times a day in order to survive. Lucky my older brother told me about it"

"HER: [whispering seductively] tell me your wildest fantasy ME: [also whispering] owning a home"

"Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune? She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement."