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Joke of the Day

"A guy is talking with his friend Edward... ...and asks him: -What do dead and black people have in common? -Well, I don't know. -They both get a rest, Ed."

"Have you ever hit a man with glasses? No. A 2by4 works much better."

"Me: k well my phones gonna die so I'll ttyl Mom: But ur office is a landline? Me: oh...so it is....K well the building is on fire, sooo ttyl"

"(Trump rally) Trump: I'll take questions now. Reporter: How will you fix California's drought? Trump: More water. Crowd: *cheers wildly*"

"Whats the derivative of Amazon? Amazon prime."

"Do you know how to make 5 lbs of fat look good?. Put a nipple on it!"

"Construction sites are dangerous places. I nearly blacked out holding in my stomach as I walked past one."

"What do you call a tire named after Ferris Bueller? A Ferris Wheel."

"Did you know, If you get everyone in the UK to lie head to toe in a line across the English channel... ...They would probably drown"

"*Police bust through door* -QUICK FLUSH ALL THE SUGAR -WAIT, WHY!? -I DON'T KNOW, THEY DO IT IN THE MOVIES!"