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Joke of the Day

"""After last week's scare with Jeremy, the new first rule of Fight Club is absolutely no peanuts or snacks containing peanuts."""

"The reason for the increase in salty people in our generation is... due to how popular Sea-Sections have become in the recent years."

"I went to the store today and seen this sausage begging her mom for an overly expensive purse. She then began to cry when her mother said no.. What a brat"

"Addicted Say ""addicted"" after everything I say. What is someone who takes drugs? What is someone who drinks? What hit you in the face last night?"

"What do you call a teacher who's always late? Mr. Buss"

"Three blondes walked into a building you'd think one of them would have seen it..."

"One burrito looks at another burrito and says, ""you wanna fight?"" The second burrito says, ""nah"". The first burrito says, ""What are you, chicken?"""

"What do you call a Mexican Gummy Bear? Delici**OSO**!"

"I can deal with shootings and police harassment. But it's January 4th and some maniac is playing Christmas music. Time to leave the ghetto"

"Me: You want to watch a horror movie for Halloween? Dog: Sure, put it on Me: *turns on Dyson vacuum infomercial*"