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Joke of the Day

"Just finished going through the terms and conditions for iOS 6 with my lawyers. Looks good, guys, I think I'm going to accept."

"Bill Cosby runs into a bar one day. He saves it for later."

"Me: Here you go. Her: WTF? Me: It's the genital mold you wanted. Her: I said gelatin mold! Me: *waddles away with pants around ankles*"

"I had a pun about insanity.. ..but I lost it"

"90% of parenting older kids is making sure they're not in the same room when they have to do homework."

"If you're going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10, don't be open."

"Why couldn't the Pokemon tell a joke? Because he fainted."

"Oh my God! Honey, the baby just said ""Dada!"" Wait, why is he using air quotes?"

"Why was the rooster going to the urinals? Because that's where all the cocks hang out!"

"Did you know that the NY Jets are 0-2 against Pittsburgh in the NFL Playoffs? Turns out Jet fuel can't melt Steeler dreams."