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Joke of the Day

"So I was standing in the toilet queue at my high school ball. I was wondering why there were also women waiting in the same line so I asked the guy in front of me. ""This is the punchline."""

"I almost got raped in jail one time. I tell you, my family takes Monopoly way too seriously."

"Why are conspiracy theorists always fat? They believe the proof is in the pudding."

"I like my beer how I like my violence.. Domestic"

"No strings attached relationships are all fun and games until you fall for a guitar. Or a marionette. Or a yo-yo."

"Life is like toilet paper You're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole"

"Did you hear about the baby that was born in a high tech. hospital? It came out cordless!"

"""Hey dad! Did you get a haircut?"" ""No. I got them all cut."""

"Why is there cotton in pill bottles? To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers."

"Him: Get on my level. Me: You're a gamer? Him: .... Me: .... Him: You need to get out more. Me: *mumbles* Your face needs to get out more."