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Joke of the Day

"Of course I swallow it's a basic function of eating. What kind of job interview is this anyway and why are there multiple cameras"

"Instagram couldn't complete your request at this time because nobody cares about your Sunday brunch."

"Me: Siri, how hot does fire need to be to burn a body. Siri: Kris, we go over this once a week. Make a note."

"I wonder where my brother is, his lunch is getting all cold ... ... ... and eaten.."

"A vinter had twin ginger daughters. He named the first Rosay and the second Rose bee."

"Wanna hear a minimalist joke? What's the difference between oranges?"

"Thought I could put dolphin in my fish pie. Until I noticed I was using all porpoise flour."

"PR manager, philosopher, translator and a journalist walk into a bar The Bartender says: ""Hey Tony! Four bachelor's degrees, but still no luck finding a job?"""

"When I see crying children and miserable parents- I run to the bathroom, crush up my birth control, and snort it."

"I was in a gang once we used to carry pocket knives & wear all green with blood-red bandanas around our neck. Wait, that was Boy Scouts."