144481

Joke of the Day

"Thank god we don't have thought bubbles above our heads. I'd be in trouble 99% of the time."

"A Spanish magician is performing a trick. He says ""I will disappear in Uno, Dos... -"" He vanished without a tres."

"How many male chauvinists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Let the bitch wash the dishes in the dark."

"Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan."

"What's the difference between a black and a white fairytale? White begins, ""once upon a time,"" black begins, ""y'all motherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit!"""

"I hate it when they tell you that they accept cards but refuse to accept my seven of spades"

"People think it's great if you like kids but will freak out if you assign an age. I like 10 year olds. See? Creepy. I'll wait in the van."

"Young McDonald had a time machine... ...and warned his future self about letter based songs."

"Wife was in ICU Doctor: She is in a coma. Husband: Please save her. She's just 30. *Just then, ECG starts beeping. Fingers move. Her lips mumbled... And she spoke: I'm 29"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger and Michael Jackson decided to combine their efforts to create a Superhuman... they called it Michael Sch......was-a-negger. Sorry for the Racism :<"