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Joke of the Day
"How did the hipster burn his mouth? he ate the pizza before it was cool."
Next Joke
"What do you call a three humped camel? Pregnant. (Credit goes to the trailer of Zootopia)"
"Why did the bigamist cross the road? To get to the other bride."
"We need to run the government like a business. Specifically a Quizno's with a bat infestation, staffed by emotionally unbalanced retirees."
"You know what's funny about Asians? You don't know whether they're awake or asleep. ( )"
"Americans eat Turkeys at Christmas. Do people in Turkey eat Americans?"
"The door to door bible people just skipped my house! See, all it takes is trying to kiss the guy and he wont be back (until 3am)"
"I apologize for pinching your lips closed when you started telling me about your kids"
"A wizard who likes to give zombies hickies is.. a neckromancer."
"Her: I'd take a bullet for you. Me: How soon can you do that?"