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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: Do you have good taste in music? Me: I can only taste things I put in my mouth Both of us thinking: I work with an idiot"

"Honey, can we skip that wedding this weekend? ""What? Why?"" It sounds boring and there's no way that couple makes it.. ""It's OUR wedding!"""

"Do you think Hillary Clinton wants to become President so that.. she can get munched out by an intern and cum on his dress?"

"TOP TEN REASONS WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN RELIGION"

"How do you drown a hipster? Convince them breathing under water is the new fad."

"*Takes ex girlfriend's poem on Antiques Road Show* Sir these are worthless *Winks at camera* Told you Karen!"

"the sign at this subway bathroom says employees must wash hands. ive been waiting for them to come wash my hands for an hour. nothing."

"Counterspace..... is that like antimatter?"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger is a Republican whose wife is a member of the Kennedy family. That makes him and his family...The Red Kennedys."

"Beyonce didn't almost fall everyone else just messed up"