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Joke of the Day

"Two candles wanted to get high... They lit up and got low instead. Happy 4/20!"

"What do you call a promiscuous girl in special ed? A tater thot"

"""That'll be $147,382."" - The cab driver after taking Will Smith from Philadelphia to Bel Air."

"Why was the Turkey v Germany match called off? There were too many fowls."

"Told my girlfriend to watch out! It might smell in the bathroom... She asked if I had used the air freshener. ""yeah, I did"" ""Oh so it smells like shitrus."" man she's funny."

"With my wife it was sex, sex, sex... Yes, three times in 35 years"" -Bob Monkhouse"

"I think I'm starting to see why it's a bad idea to give Trump access to nuclear launch codes... He'll just fire them"

"Have you heard about that new David Beckham film called ""Into The Unknown""? It's about his visit to a library."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bellows ! Bellows who ? Bellows me some money can I have it please !"

"All of the construction that was slowing down traffic during the summer is over now. I don't know why they can't repair those cones indoors."