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Joke of the Day
"""We're up all night to get Loki"" -Daft Punk feat. The Avengers"
Next Joke
"Did you hear that the Apple CEO announced he was gay? The next day the Samsung CEO also announced he was gay and waterproof."
"Magic is like breast implants... ...we all know its fake, but when done well, can give you a feeling of true wonder"
"What do you call a wife that knows where her husband is at all time? A widow"
"What kind of juice does hitler drink? Concentrated juice."
"Pro Tip: On 20th wedding anniversary, giving wife a book called ""The Many Benefits of Kegels"". Is not a great idea. I know this now."
"I like how McDonalds mixes the napkins in the to-go bag with the greasy food, so that even when I'm wiping my mouth I can get fatter."
"*robs neighbor's chicken coop* *serves poached eggs*"
"What do you call somebody who is content being average sized? A happy medium."
"Why do flies hate the shower? Because the only thing to eat is shampoo."