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Joke of the Day

"Mr. Buffalo: I caught my son making out with a girl Me: SWEET! Mr. Buffalo: And a boy Me: So, I guess you could say he's your... Bi-son"

"I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today That's six years in a row now"

"My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding.... She got mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again."

"This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club. I was confused, I'd never met herbivore."

"I took my grandma to one of those fish spa's where the fish eat your dead skin Sooooo much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery."

"You know its my phone if it looks like someone fingerpainted the touch screen in donut glaze."

"Why is it so hot? I can just feel the sweat roll down kirstie alley's thighs"

"I saw my friend's kids at Walmart and they told me they were lost and I was like ""good luck guys"" and walked away. I'd be a great mother."

"In hell, your socks are always wet"

"How to kill two birds with one stone: Step 1: throw a stone at a bird Step 2: go pick up that stone Step 3: throw it at another bird"