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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a room full of Amish prostitutes? A furry fish market."

"Did you hear about the bulimic bachelor party? The cake comes out of the girl."

"What's a good motto for a sewage treatment plant? Our duty is clear. Credit: Futurama"

"""Oh you like this cake? (*Tosses cake out the window*) Oops."" - Game of Thrones"

"How did the mermaid get into a car crash? ...because she was fish tailing!"

"Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to snap them and shake the shit out of them until the light comes on."

"Took my drivers test high on magic mushrooms. Passed with flying colors."

"ME: OMG I CAN'T BREATHE I ATE WAY TOO MUCH CALL A DOCTOR HER: do you want dessert? ME: ok, but just a small slice."

"The S7's are exploding as much as Muslims in the middle east."

"My daughter is starting to ask embarrassing questions about sex. Just yesterday she asked: ""Is that the best you can do?"""