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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the action where a dead guy falls out of a car and you have to put him back in? A rehearsal"

"Vodka giveth and vodka taketh away... It giveth me a hangover and taketh away my underpants. Amen."

"I've started making jokes about sodium and potassium. I think I've finally got the NaK of it."

"I used to hate my job moving air around... But now I'm a big fan."

"""I like every kind of music except country"" -teens who are into hip-hop, classical, barbershop quartets, celtic music, big band, and chants."

"I'm not slurring, I'm speaking in cursive."

"What's the difference between a motivational speaker and a baseball player? The baseball player has all of its limbs."

"A boy asks his mom, ""Why am I black and you're white?"" She says, ""Don't even go there. The way that party went, you're lucky you don't bark"""

"Why don't you ask about the home life of a filing cabinet? It's usually a sorted affair."

"THE 45 DIFFERENCE A: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? B: 45 lbs. A: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? B: 45 minutes."