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Joke of the Day
"There is a drink called sandy It's a watered down manhattan."
Next Joke
"""longest word"" What is the longest word in the English language? . SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"""
"What do men and Subway have in common? They both exaggerate the length."
"[mall] Wife: Wait here. Me: Okay. Wife: Hold my purse. Me: Yes, ma'am. *looks in purse* *waves at testicles* Me: *sigh* I miss you guys!"
"I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting. What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?"
"If someone says ""I will do anything for you"" lean in really close and say ""There's a body in my basement and I can't eat it all by myself."""
"Rihanna should date Lebron... he never beats anyone."
"How did the bootician style the ghost's hair? With a scare dryer!"
"For sale: Standards. Mint condition. Barely used."
"FUN FACT: The Olsen twins were actually triplets but Mary ate her sister Kate in utero and that's why she has two names"