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Joke of the Day

"Accidentally pronounced wifi as ""wifey"" and the hotel concierge said the password's helping out around the house and being a good listener."

"What's the difference between an American zoo and a Chinese zoo? An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal."

"Everyone thinks the same thing when buying Drano. What a waste of money! That's $5 down the drain... ( )"

"My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate."

"What do you call an army of toddlers? Infantry."

"What goes Blonde Brunette Blonde Brunette ? A blonde doing cartwheels."

"I'm socially constipated... I haven't given a shit in years"

"A Jewish girl.. ..asks her father, ""Dad? Can I have 50 dollars?"" he says, ""40 dollars? What do you need 30 dollars for?"""

"Two squirrels in the backyard. But they are not playing together. Wonder if there's history."

"What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns? Non-habit forming"