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Joke of the Day

"My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad that I eventually had to take his bike away."

"Its thanksgiving, and I am thankful for my dog, my boobies, and my life. Happy thanksgiving to you and your boobies."

"Short skirts have a tendency to make men polite. Have you ever seen a man get on a bus ahead of one?"

"What do you call a gay club in the 70's? Phallic! at the Disco"

"Any ship can be a minesweeper once..."

"Q. Is it possible to kill a mother-in-law with newspaper? A. Yes if you wrap an iron in it."

"I think Lady Gaga's next outfit should be made of spaghetti... If that's *pastable*"

"The name's Bond.. James Earl Jones."

"Well, I've got to hand it to you. -Guy explaining how the baton works in a relay race."

"The term ""mentally ill"" is reserved for white people. Brown people are called terrorists. Black people are called thugs."