141976

Joke of the Day

"If a cop pulls you over for talking on your phone, just tell him you were reporting a drunk driver."

"Ten years from now mankind will be illiterate, and we'll only communicate through pictures of our breakfasts."

"[DOG MAGICIAN] think of a color, any color...is it...gray? [OTHER DOG] oh my GOD"

"Where does Arnie sit at the movies? Aisle B - Back."

"How'd the husband know his wife was fooling around? Got home from work, kicked off her panties, and they stuck to the wall"

"I'm a chick magnet I repel."

"What's the hardest thing about skydiving? The Ground"

"Why are leggings and sand the same? They both get stuck in camel toe."

"How do you tell if a lesbian installed your flooring? It's all tongue and groove."

"""Whose funeral was this photo taken at?"" John, serious tone: ""I dunno. Let's see who's missing"" possible funniest thing john has said"