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Joke of the Day

"If Sean Connery starred in Interstellar... He'd tell Murph to stop talking to her shelf."

"My friend asked me if I purposely used wordplay in my sentences. I answered ''Nope. Unintended.''"

"Why are there no good racist jokes for white people? because, only whites are racist."

"I don't like rape jokes... they always feel forced."

"LASSIE: Arf! What's that girl? Timmy's in the old well? L: Arf arf He's dead? You sure? L: Arf! Okay here's a check for $5K L: ima need cash"

"What do you get if you dont finish your meal at a cannibalistic restaurant? A bodybag"

"Anyone know the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? You know, besides the taste."

"Cliffs are so great... But they have one downside"

"My weightlifting trainer told me the key is ""If it burns, it grows"" So I lit my cock on fire"

"[How the rap feud started] Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party? 2pac: sure, no biggie Biggie[eavesdropping]: [wipes tears]"