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Joke of the Day

"I was getting a checkup from my doctor this morning He said ""Now son, you gotta stop masterbating!"" I said in shock "" what?"" He replied ""Well At least until I finish your God damn exam!!"""

"What country uses the most foul language? Turkey"

"The only laid I'm getting... is laid off."

"A man overdosed on Viagra... ...His wife took it hard."

"So... A three legged dog walks into a bar and says ""I'm looking for the man who shot my pa""."

"Whats the difference between a regular horse and a police horse? The police horse has an extra asshole on its back. :>"

"What's the difference between a Penis and a paycheck? Penis is the male reproductive organ. Paycheck is a check that used to pay an employee for his work."

"My ratt bit me yesterday. I guess you could say we had a lack of communication."

"What's the hardest part about being a Vegan who does Crossfit and owns a Rescue dog? Deciding which to tell people first."

"Your Uncle Jack Hello there... I would like to ask you a question about helping an old man......... IF UNCLE Jack HELPS YOU off an ELEPHANT would YOU Help UNCLE Jack OFF AN ELEPHANT?"