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Joke of the Day

"Expect nothing and you'll be impressed every day."

"My housemate is going away to Oslo. He asked if I wanted to come along but I said Norway."

"How can you recognise a blind man among a crowd of nudists? It's not hard..."

"Dog training The plan to get my dog to swallow semen is coming on a treat."

"Baby Lawyer: Did you steal the victim's nose? Accused: No. *cries into palms Baby Judge: O, great, he's disappeared again."

"[sees kid crying] Kid: Im lost Me: that's ok. We're all lost. Happiness is an illusion. Life is meaningless. Death is around the corner. Bye"

"Why are there so many Asians? Its the food. There is too much raw dog. Heard it on Adam Carolla's Podcast. A caller phoned in and told it to Adam. Thought you guys would like it."

"Which day do chickens hate the most? Friday."

"What does a Mexican get when he slides down a hill? Gracias"

"What do you call a bee's rear end? A Bee-Hind"