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Joke of the Day

"How do parents in Africa celebrate their kid's first birthday? They bring flowers to his grave."

"My friend gets an erection whenever he sees chickpeas... He's a hummussexual."

"A woman went to the doctor, who examined her. He said, You have a bad back. The woman said, I want a second opinion. The doctor said, All right! You're ugly as well."

"Comeback Joke * nerds phone rings in class * Cool Guy - awww, was that your mommy? * whole class laughs * Nerd Guy - nope, it was yours. * whole class is silent *"

"Why don't nuns fear getting raped? Because they know it is tough to get into the habit."

"Why does ISIS drink instant coffee? Because they hate French press!"

"[Pun] There's something about the sky... There was a man in an airplane and he had just over dosed on alcohol, one could say he really was HIGH -<>~<>- ^those are what I call 'pun glasses'"

"I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there's no point in bothering with hash browns then."

"What type of bagel can fly? A plain (plane) bagel!"

"Why didn't Peter Jackson cast any black actors in The Lord Of The Rings? He was afraid they wouldn't be taken on their merits, that they'd just be seen as Tolkien blacks."