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Joke of the Day

"For all of you claiming you have over 100 IQ. How can you possibly score over 100%? I am very pleased with my score of 79."

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey."

"Why did the cowboy adopt a weiner dog? He wanted to git a long little doggy."

"Theres 365 days until halloween and people ALREADY have their decorations up."

"""Thanks for nothing, Evolution."" - Flightless Birds"

"I get pretty horny when someone disses me over the Internet. I always get e-rekt."

"[my son threatens to run away after I take away his iPad] ""Here $60. It's all I have. Call if you need more."""

"I can help anyone quit smoking by spraying them with hair spray as they light their cigarette."

"How do you get 20 Jews in a car? Throw a dollar in! How do you get them out? Tell them it's a taxi!"

"When a celebrity tweets a whiny complaint at an airline, I vigilantly pray for them to get stranded on a runway for 72 hours."