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Joke of the Day
"Obama used the race card. Hillary used the woman card. America used the Trump card."
Next Joke
"Lady next to me in 50 Shades pulled out her glasses & asked if she missed the good part. I said no, the credits weren't rolling yet."
"God, the Atheists are coming! God: ""Tell them I'm not around!"""
"Stuff I think about... I've often wondered what would happen if a Schizophrenic took a multi-vitamin. I have many more of these posers I may or may not post...."
"A vulture is boarding a plane with a dead raccoon under each wing, when the gate attendant stops him and says, ""I'm sorry, sir..."" ""...but you're only allowed *one* carrion."""
"Why don't blind people go skydiving? Because it scares the shit out of the dog."
"Chuck Norris once went skydiving without a parachute, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough."
"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on mutilated corpses. The librarian says, ""Do you want the Part 1 or Part 2?"""
"How was copper wire invented? Two jews picked up the same penny simultaneously"
"I'll take a girl with a sharp wit. Wits never sag."