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Joke of the Day

"What does Axl Rose do before he prays? Gets down on his SHA-NA-NA-NA-NA-KNEES!? KNEES!"

"What did the Bacon say to the Tomato? What did Bacon say to Tomato? ""Lettuce get together"""

"When I Grow Up When I grow up I want to be like Prince... Dead."

"What is the car that everyone sleeps in? The Ford Siesta Many thanks to /u/ekhappychap for that one."

"[Airport terminal] *waits at baggage claim area* *an entire roast pig emerges on the carousel* *I check the tag to make sure it's mine*"

"My current girlfriend is very similar to my last one... For instance, neither of them exist."

"To all my American friends: Happy hunger games... May the odds be ever in your favor."

"Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent P!"

"I hate people who talk behind my back. They discussed me."

"I hear Tarantino's next movie is about a Sichuan restaurant... It's called ""the heatful eat"""