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Joke of the Day
"Hey girl, are you an acid? Because you're definitely (aq)-tie."
Next Joke
"I used to be indecisive. But now I'm not so sure."
"How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four. One to screw in the light bulb and three to talk about how Neil Peart could've done it better."
"Whats it called when batman leaves church early? Christian Bale"
"Do you know how old I am? I'm so old that I was around when the Dead Sea was just sick. (Told to me by my grandfather)"
"What's a boxers favorite joke? Punchline."
"I got a thesaurus the other day, but all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am!"
"i asked my trainer which machine at the gym i should use to impress the girls... he pointed outside and said "" the ATM machine"" i had 15$'s left though.."
"will you marry me? ""OMG YES! I love you!!!"" *imagines typing only 4 characters for 'wife' instead of 'girlfriend' on Twitter* I love you too"
"Sometimes i feel like the flat bread option at subway because I'm always available but no one ever wants me to hang out with"