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Joke of the Day

"What does Saddam Hussein and little Miss Moffat have in common? They both had curds/Kurds in their whey/way!"

"What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins ""Once upon a time ..."" A southern fairytale begins ""Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit ..."""

"What does an educated owl say? Whom."

"I just got an eyelash in my eye and I'm yelling at it cuz it's supposed to prevent this shit from happening like, ""YOU ONLY HAVE ONE JOB."""

"I tried to make a robot that ate watches... but it was too time-consuming."

"My neighbor doesn't like it when I put garbage in his backyard so I stopped burying people there."

"Why are rivers lazy? Because they never get off their beds."

"I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution...."

"My friend said my mum was hot. I then punched him and reminded him that we were Americans."

"[marriage counselling] Her: he always thinks he's talking to me on CB radio Me: I don't, over Her: It's over Me: It's what? Over"