140381

Joke of the Day

"If Chris Brown played Quidditch, what position would he play? Beater"

"Call me narrow-minded, but I'll never try bestiality. I'm just not interested in going down that rabbit hole."

"If I want to commit suicide, all I would do is jump from your EGO' to your IQ Level'."

"There were zwei peanuts walking down the strae... ... and one was a salted... peanut."

"Why is CoD like women? Search and Destroy."

"Way into ""Game of Thrones"". Are there any shows that are games of other kinds of chairs?"

"I was in the mood for nuts this morning so I chased a squirrel for 3 miles and the little prick led me right to his stash, yum!"

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

"I went to the doctor and said, ""My penis is burning."" He said, ""That means someone is talking about it."" - Garry Shandling. RIP."

"Hello police? Please send an officer over to 324 London Road right away! Sorry this isn't the police station. It's the Delicatessen. Oh. Well in that case please send over a pastrami sandwich!"