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Joke of the Day

"What are Hillary Clinton, Elizabeth Warren, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Theresa May doing in a room together? ...playing bridge."

"I wore a leather jacket into a vegan restaurant and now I'm hiding in the bathroom."

"The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?"

"How does moses make coffee? Hebrews it"

"the waiter grinds me some pepper. ""tell me when."" i never say 'when'. the restaurant and the city fill with pepper. sky turns black w/ peppr"

"Katy Perry has made it so awkward to buy cherry chapstick. I swear that cashier just winked and licked his lips at me."

"Did you hear about the white supremacists chemist with a lisp? He was so radium carbon iodine thorium he joined the potassium potassium potassium."

"What did the spanish soccer announcer invest in? **GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD**"

"What's the difference between a pizza and a woman The crust on the pizza tastes good."

"Circles. I don't see the point in them."