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Joke of the Day
"Why are there so many dogs at the pound? Because no one wants them."
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"I bought some shoes from my drug dealer... But I don't think they were laced because I've been tripping all day."
"January 27th is Mozart's birthday. Mozart died at 34 years old. Had he lived he would be 259 years old on Tuesday"
"Parenting tip: If your toddler is being quiet then they are probably doin somethin like tryin to flush the cat down the toilet."
"""And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?"" asks mother. ""Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"""
"You should marry the first person who can understand what you're saying while you brush your teeth."
"Why did the ant crawl up Princess Kate's stocking? To go to the grand opening. Why did the ant crawl up Prince Williams' trousers? To get to the royal ball."
"Resumes are the most popular form of historical fiction."
"What's the best part of Christmas for Santa Clause? He knows where all the naughty girls live #*( )*"