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Joke of the Day

"I suffer from a disease called chronic procrastination... I need to see a doctor about it, but I can do it later."

"Soooo.... I was fucking this guy in the ass and I went for a reach around and the faggot had a boner"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far"

"Fellas, imagine having your balls roughly kneaded for two days straight. Congratulations you just experienced menstrual cramps."

"""I see,"" said the blind man, pissing into the wind. ""It's all coming back to me now."""

"How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Let the bitch cook in the dark!!!"

"Why is there no windows 9? Obviously 789 I would be surprised if you said something else."

"I picked up this chick in Rome. We had sex, said goodbye the next morning and gave her a hi five She gave me hi V"

"What do you call an Irish guy who can't keep off the weight? McFatagain! I'm sorry."

"What's worse then passing out at a party and getting a penis drawn on your forehead? Finding out that they traced it...."