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Joke of the Day

"I suffer from a disease called chronic procrastination... I need to see a doctor about it, but I can do it later."

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face"

"What did the pilot say when his plane wasn't flying? ""Aw man, that's a drag."""

"What do you call a mass transit system that also cares deeply about humanitarian work? A Bonorail."

"The teacher asked Jimmy, ""Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"" Jimmy replied crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"""

"What do you call a fancy toilet? A dapper crapper"

"Q&A / ALMOST CHOKES IN cinnamon challenge Watch This Guy DO A Q*A And Almost Chokes ON The cinnamon challenge"

"Good friends are just like snowballs. They go away if you pee on them."

"The sign said 'Free Range Chickens'. So, I took some."

"It's cray that I totes obvi say perf and adorbz on the regs"