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Joke of the Day

"There's only one thing I hate more that white supremacy. Black people"

"Last night, I woke up to the ghost of Gloria Gaynor in my room. At first I was afraid, I was petrified..."

"I'm not religious but I'm spiritual, which means I think the mothman prophecy is real and I don't feel bad about shoplifting"

"Every minute arguing semantics on the internet Is exactly 43.56 seconds wasted."

"*i sneeze* Atheist: bless u Me: ha! i caught u Atheist: no its just like, an expression Me:*grabbing him by shoulders* u believe in god"

"I think you can all settle down. Its unlikely Instagram will ever find buyers for photos of 20 000 feet and a billion sunsets."

"Dearest Neighbors, Please do NOT call the police, it's not domestic violence or a wild party. It's football season, that's just me screaming at my TV."

"Saying no thanks to a CW's offer to hit me with their car so I could take the day off proves decisions shouldn't be made before coffee"

"Why did George Washington leave office after his second term. He wanted to set a president."

"You never realize what you have till its gone... Toilet paper is a good example."