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Joke of the Day

"Gasping for air while saying ""Oh. My. God."" as a waiter brings you dessert makes you look like a big fat fuck."

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year."

"*Breaks glass to steal Mona Lisa* You crazy? Security will hear us Security: HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON UP THERE? NOTHING Security: ALRIGHT"

"What do you call a man who loves a woman for her brains? A zombie."

"What do you call someone who is known for being heartless and cold to others? Dead"

"What do you get when you mix a black and asian person? A criminal mastermind ..."

"What's green, fuzzy, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree onto you it will probably kill you? A pool table. (*)"

"It's now politically correct to award kids trophies for last place. On a related note, 'trophy wife' has become rather ambiguous."

"Q: What do ghosts like to chew? A: Boobble gum."

"Having sex in a mental hospital Now that's fucking insane."