139190

Joke of the Day

"What does a little sister ride? A Nissan."

"You don't like her? Drink more."

"Why is the UK suddenly a happy place? Because now they too have a day to light fireworks on!"

"7y: mummy, how long have you been married to daddy? Me: 7 years 7y: how long have you got left?"

"Actor Jim Carrey vehemently denounced California's new vaccination requirement for all school-age children because it would render them immune to the childhood disease of being a fan of Jim Carrey."

"i work in the elevator business. It has it's ups and downs."

"""What? Where?"" -owl on some next level shit"

"Guess who I bumped into at the opticians? Everybody"

"If there was any award for laziness, I probably would send someone to pick it up for me."

"My grandma talks a lot of shit for someone who still uses a flip phone."