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Joke of the Day

"Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. ""Oy Abraham I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse"". ""Ssh!"" hisses the other ""It's not till next week""."

"6 year old: Daddy, what if the plane goes down? Me: Don't worry, your mom is with us. She never goes down. 6 year old: What? Me: Want candy?"

"I put as much effort into life... As the guy who named the sleeping bag"

"What do a priest and a swimmer who came in second have in common? The both came in a little behind"

"Just been to Tesco and swapped 50 raisins for 100 sultanas Can't believe the currant exchange rate!"

"Why do they never serve a beer at math party? Because you can't drink and derive"

"My girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob She's allergic to nuts"

"""Always remember me."" - Anonymous."

"How do you get herpes viral infection of the eye? Looking for love in all the wrong places."

"Got a hot new neighbor, I finally have something to look at with my night vision goggles besides raccoons."