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Joke of the Day

"Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. ""Oy Abraham I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse"". ""Ssh!"" hisses the other ""It's not till next week""."

"New Funny jokes "" "" :D 2 !! .. :D "

"Dear Airlines, We never really turn the phones off. Signed, Everyone"

"Couple of girlfriends decided to go out on girls night. But they had nothing to talk about, because all of them showed up."

"What do you call a shirt missing its sleeves? An ampu-tee."

"I just saved a girl from rape. I stopped chasing her."

"How many terribly overused Vine memes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ***19, you dumbass. Its 19. not twenty-fucking-one.***"

"And the LORD said unto John... ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and had to eat the biscuit[.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soggy_biscuit)"

"Tattooing bullet holes where I had a stomach ache so I never forget what I've been through."

"What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me."