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Joke of the Day

"We're going to build a great wall to keep the inspirational tweets out. And Facebook is going to pay for it. Make Twitter Great Again."

"My buddies said I should sign up for a Golf Tournament I told them no, I always lose, Then they said it was for crippled children. I thought, well damn, maybe I could win this then."

"Whoever stole my dildo can go fuck themselves."

"The first day of school I signed up for English, Math, Science and Language. The rest, as they say, was History."

"Why is santa's sack so big? Because he only cums around once a year"

"What'd the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass"

"What's a Buddhist's favorite physics law? Om's Law."

"I was born in the USA... ..some parts imported from China, though."

"Damn Girl, did you just get in a water balloon fight or are you happy to see me?"

"What do you call a gay geologist? Substrate."