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Joke of the Day

"Two antennas met on a roof. They fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."

"""Operator, run this licence plate please Echo Alpha Tango Alpha Delta India Charlie Kilo"" - Me, if I was a cop on the day I got fired."

"How do I know you're not John Cena? I can see you"

"What did one gay man say to another gay man at the bar? May I push in your stool"

"I heard fish is good for your brain but now I can't get the smell out of my hair"

"Why is a gay man having sex similar to Tony Abbott? They're both fucking arseholes."

"What do you call an empty jar of Cheese Whiz? Cheese was."

"Star Wars Episode VII is like a used car lot. (spoilers) It's where you can see an old Hyundai"

"6: can u get me a drink? Me: no, you're 6yo. You can get your own drink 6: fine *goes to fridge Me: while ur there can u grab me a beer?"

"What was the proudest moment of Bill Clinton's life? When he was given Head Of State"