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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick into someones ass"

"I like my women so intelligent that it takes me days to realize I was insulted."

"The key to being smart is not talking about shit you don't know about. You should try it. Like immediately."

"I'd jump in front of a gently tossed beach ball for you."

"Seal walks into a club Sales have been down recently so he doesn't play larger venues anymore."

"When co-workers ask if the photos on my desk are my kids, I like to say, ""No, they're Dan's from accounting. But they're so cute!"""

"I got a job digging graves, I don't know how, I just fell into it."

"Chuck Norris is so bad he makes viruses sick. As such, Chuck Norris is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox."

"Where do people from Laos like to swim? In Laotian."

"If you leave without a reason, don't bother coming back with an excuse."